Billy
Wilder, who has died aged 95, directed his first Hollywood film in 1942.
Since then he has co-written, directed and produced some of the most astute
American comedies of the last fifty years. To many he was an innovator,
introducing moral realism to simplistic Hollywood scenarios. To others
he was a cynic, introducing vulgarity under the guise of European sophistication.
To some he was a narrator of the modern conscience. But if irresistible
narrative drive is what we remember of such as Double Indemnity,
Sunset Boulevard and Some Like it Hot, occasionally Wilder
allowed his characters a little dead time to reflect on this compromised
life.
In the following scene from The Apartment,
Bud Baxter has just found out that the woman he loves is being seduced
by his boss in his apartment. And there is nothing he can do about it.
For its forlorn portrait of sexual relations, the scene speaks to men and
women everywhere.
Scene 87: INTERIOR CHEAP BAR - COLUMBUS
AVENUE IN THE SIXTIES - EVENING
It is six oclock, and the joint is
crowded with customers having one for the road before joining their families
for Christmas Eve. There are men with gaily wrapped packages, small trussed-up
Christmas trees, a plucked turkey in a plastic bag. Written across the
mirror behind the bar, in glittering white letters, is HAPPY HOLIDAYS.
Everybody is in high spirits, laughing it up and toasting each other.
Everybody except Bud Baxter. He is standing
at the bar in his chesterfield and bowler, slightly isolated, brooding
over an almost empty martini glass. The bartender comes up, sets down a
fresh martini with an olive on a toothpick, takes his payment from a pile
of bills and coins lying in front of Bud. Bud fishes out the olive, adds
it to half a dozen other impaled olives neatly arranged in fan shape on
the counter. He is obviously trying to complete the circle.
A short, rotund man dressed as Santa
Claus hurries in from the street, and comes up to the bar beside Bud.
SANTA CLAUS (to bartender): Hey, Charlie
- give me a shot of bourbon - and step on it - my sleigh is double parked.
He laughs uproariously at his own joke,
nudges Bud with his elbow. Bud stares at him coldly, turns back to his
martini. The laughter dies in Santa Claus throat. He gets his shot of
bourbon, moves down the bar to find more convivial company.
Standing near the end of the curved
bar is a girl in her middle twenties wearing a ratty fur coat. Her name
is MARGIE MacDOUGALL, she is drinking a Rum Collins through a straw, and
she too is alone. From a distance, she is studying Bud with interest. On
the bar in front of her is a container of straws in paper wrappers. She
takes one of them out, tears off the end of the paper, blows through the
straw - sending the wrapper floating toward Bud. The paper wrapper passes
right in front of Buds nose. He doesnt notice it. Margie, undaunted,
lets go with another missile. This time the wrapper lands on the brim
of Buds bowler. No reaction. Another wrapper comes floating in, hits Buds
cheek. He never takes his eye off his martini.
Margie leaves her place, and carrying
her handbag and her empty glass, comes up alongside Bud. Without a word,
she reaches up and removes the wrapper from Buds bowler.
MARGIE: You buy me a drink, Ill buy
you some music. (sets the glass down) Rum Collins. Not waiting for an answer,
she heads for the juke box. Bud looks after her noncommittally, then turns
to the bartender.
BUD: Rum Collins. (indicating martini
glass) And another one of these little mothers.
At the juke box, Margie has dropped
a coin in and made her selection. The music starts - ADESTE FIDELIS. She
rejoins Bud at the bar just as the bartender is putting down their drinks
in front of them. Bud removes the new olive, adds it to the pattern on
the counter in front of him. They both drink, staring straight ahead. For
quite a while, there is complete silence between them.
MARGIE (out of nowhere): You like Castro?
(a blank look from Bud) I mean - how do you feel about Castro?
BUD: What is Castro?
MARGIE: You know, that big-shot down
in Cuba - with the crazy beard.
BUD: What about him?
MARGIE: Because as far as Im concerned,
hes a no good fink. Two weeks ago I wrote him a letter - never even answered
me.
BUD: That so.
MARGIE: All I wanted him to do was let
Mickey out for Christmas.
BUD: Who is Mickey?
MARGIE: My husband. Hes in Havana -
in jail.
BUD: Oh. Mixed up in that revolution?
MARGIE: Mickey? He wouldnt do nothing
like that. Hes a jockey. They caught him doping a horse.
BUD: Well, you cant win em all.
They sit there silently for a moment,
contemplating the injustices of the world.
MARGIE (to herself):
Twas the night before Christmas
And all through the house
Not a creature was stirring -
Nothing -
No action -
Dullsville!
(drinks; to Bud) You married?
BUD: No.
MARGIE: Family?
BUD: No.
MARGIE: A night like this, it sort of
spooks you to walk into an empty apartment.
BUD: I said I had no family - I didnt
say I had an empty apartment.
They both drink.
Extracted from: The Apartment and
The Fortune Cookie: Two Screenplays by Billy Wilder and I.A.L. Diamond,
Studio Vista Books, 1966.
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