Anees Bazmee combo is most likely to strike a chord with the
front-benchers. “Ready’ is more about style than content or substance.
The story, screenplay, direction, performances are all glaringly
feeble. The songs and choreography are definitively lurid and in bad
taste and the net value of the experience is more minus than plus.
Let’s get down to the bare basic storyline. Prem (Salman using that
screen name for the umpteenth time in his career ) is a brash,
loud action oriented do-gooder belonging to the Kapoor family- a family
straight out of the sugar coated Rajshri world consisting of three
brothers and their respective wives. Rajveer (Mahesh Manjrekar) is
Prem’s father who appears to run out of verbs and therefore uses
obscene gestures to prompt his loved ones to guess correctly. They live
together as a joint family and blindly follow a guruji who not only
provides the family with orphan maids but also decides on a suitable
mate, Pooja, for the laadla beta of the family. Prem is not interested
so when he is sent to the airport to fetch his soon-to –be bride, he
mistakenly brings home a runaway Sanjana(Asin) in bridal costume.
Sanjana claims to be Pooja and sets out to win the family over but soon
enough her notorious past in the form of two warring uncouth Mamas
(maternal uncles) and their vituperative offspring, zoom into the
idyllic frame. Prem intervenes, love blossoms and following some trashy
narrative manipulations the two finally get to complete their pheras
together in the marriage mandap. Time and again we hear Salman
mouthing the inane ‘'zindagi mein teen cheesein kabhi underestimate
nahin karna, I me and myself' (never underestimate three things in
life, I me and myself). What does that mean you wanna ask..does Salman
even understand? But that is not the sole grouse here.
Complications, confusions abound as the hero embarks on a do-good
journey tricking the Chaudhary’s (Sanjana’s uncles) into behaving
respectfully and lovingly. Phew!
Bazmee’s patchy script is derived from his own hopelessly flawed past
works so expecting sense was just so improbable. Salman’s Dabbang
persona replete with strut and swagger is rehashed but it means nothing
when there is just no story to back it. Bazmee tries to innoculate
southern color and melodrama into the distinctly north Indian set-up
but the mix looks blotchy and ungainly. The action choreography appears
ancient, the sound mix is overwhelming and the narrative is far
more reliant on silly antics and their glorification rather than
unfolding into a logical and viable end-play. Anees Bazmee’s style of
filmmaking is hopelessly Neanderthal. He employs the same unedifying
tricks - derivative innuendo obsessed dialogue, tasteless choregraphy,
loud bombastic untrue performances, shoddy cutting and shabby
unwieldy and disconnected takes . Bazmee’s sole intention is to
ride on the post-Dabangg Salman wave. Salman too appears to be riding
the same malnourished horse. Now it remains to be seen how far
they will get !